Short Update

Hello internet world, friends, and supporters!

I just wanted to write a quick post to let you know about a few things!

1) Yes, I am still alive. And I did in fact make it to France. As I'm sure you know, or have assumed by now :]

2) This will not be a book post. Sorry to dissappoint, but everytime I type up a post, I am unable to write without sounding a big fragmented, and I can't seem to finish them. So I think that when I get home, I will sit down, say a prayer, start writing down the important stuff and expanding. I just can't write you an unfinished post. It would go against my conscience! So, you must wait for all the details, I am sorry.

3) We only have 8 days left, including today.. Which is crazy! We have had overall a fantastic trip, and I am excited about seeing how God will use this next week, and about coming home to you. Tomorrow we leave on our second hike, which I pray goes as well as the first. Hiking makes me nervous. Well, I think it's trying new things that makes me nervous. After that, we will have four days left with the adult campers before we leave next Sunday morning, probably around 4:30 or 5am.

Say a prayer for the relationships we are building with these campers,
pray that we would continue to live out Camp des Cimes' motto, of being "a haven in France for God to save the lost and strengthen the found."
Pray for the youth campers we had the two weeks previous to this one, that they would find outlets for questions, and encouragement,
Pray for the staff here, as we are all fighting either exhaustion or sickness
pray over the hike, that we would stay warm and not be injured or ill, and that we would connect with each other and God in a new way,
pray that we are able to take hold of what God has set before us to do
that we would finish well, and leave a touch of His hand.

Thank you for all the prayers you have said for me, our team, this camp, and the students. I assure you, God is moving in Camp des Cimes. You will hear how I have seen it soon enough!
Until then, God bless. I will leave you with a verse that has been particularly encouraging to me in the last week:

"And so we know and rely on the love that God has for us..."
1 John 4:16

So close...

...I can smell the bread.

I bet you didn't know that when you signed up to be my supporter, that I would be giving you books to read.

Summer reading if you will.

I always did secretly like summer reading.

Yes I am a nerd. But it's getting me a degree :]

I really do want to say thank you again, for all of you who have given support to me in this whole adventure, whether through prayer, monetarily, or in encouraging words. I cannot tell you how much of a blessing it has been! It helps me keep going, and helps give me reassurance, and adds confidence. Not that I find my confidence in other's encouragement, no. That would be wrong. Not confidence that I am able to handle this- no. Because I know that I can't. Oh no.But it is still so nice to hear the encouragement that I have heard. And to know that money wise, God has provided. And to know that I have people praying for me.. crazy. Thank you so much.

As I enter this adventure, I am very aware of the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing. I have never been a camp counselor. I have never gone backpacking, I have never been taught or played soccer successfully, and so many other little things that I will be experiencing over the next few weeks. BUT God knows everything. I can't handle this, but He is more than big enough.

I go between finding comfort in the idea of not having any idea what I'm doing, and being a little panicky about it, haha. Maybe it means God is going to guide it all, and I just need to trust Him more.

Here are a few more specifics about our trip:

We fly out this Wednesday (tomorrow!), at 5:30p, and will arrive at the camp sometime Thursday evening. The following two days (Friday and Saturday) will be spent in training for us. From July 4-18, we will be doing camp for French youth, ages 14-18 years old, will all levels of English. So French high school students. There will be 40-50 of these kiddos.

The next two weeks (July 20-31) We will be doing camp for French young adults, 18+, with 'good' levels of English. There will be 20 of these people.

After this, we will be flying home, and should be back in Dallas by 3:40pm on August 1st.

We will have worship twice a day, and a message from one of the English counselors (us) or one of the French counselors (who we will be working with). We will also do a lot of hiking, and physical activity (It's camp!) like soccer, volleyball, photography workshops (and other creative workshops) self-expression times, games, art, rock climbing, etc.

I know, sounds like I'm not going to have any fun with these kids :p

I hope they have a blast, and see Jesus through it all.

That is the schedule for those of you who have asked to pray over flights and such (which I greatly appreciate). Please please be praying over these students, as we try to live out Jesus to them. We are not there to beat the Bible into them. We are not there to give them altar calls until they come crying down the aisle. We are there to love them, and share with them the truth of how a relationship with Jesus is the greatest thing you could ever have. It's culturally different, and difficult to be verbal with them about Christ first, you have to kinda 'live them into talking about it'. I'm a very verbal person, so I hope that God speaks louder than I do.

Good thing He's bigger.

Other than this light schedule outline, I have no idea what I'm walking into. And I'm learning to love it.

Which is really weird for me, if you know me. It's taken a lot of work from Jesus for me to say that. And prayer.

I couldn't ask for more. I don't even deserve this.

It amazes me that God loves, and wants to use broken, doubtful, and frustrating little human beings.

It amazes me that God loves and wants want to use me.

What an awesome Father. Teacher, Lover, Friend.

Gah.

Lately, a certain Bible story has been hovering in my mind. And also lately, a similar song on the radio has been standing out to me. I finally re-read the story and looked up lyrics, and, well, you'll see. They speak a lot for themselves. I know that I need to 'hear in between the words' of both, so I thought I would share. The passage is from Matthew 14:

25 During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. 27 But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." 28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."29"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" 32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." (Emphasis added).

The song is called 'Walk on the Water Too', by Britt Nicole:

You look around and staring back at you
Another wave of doubt
Will it pull you under
You wonder
What if I'm overtaken
What if I never make it
What if no one's there
Will You hear my prayer?
When you take that first step
Into the unknown
You know that he won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait
And don't you turn around, and miss out on
Everything you were made for
Gotta be, I know you're not sure, more
So you play it safe, you try to run away
If you take that first step
Into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you,
Telling you to give up
Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are waiting, what are you waiting for

So what are you waiting for
What do you have to lose
Your insecurities
They try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes
And you can walk on the water,
Walk on the water too

Ok. When I hear or read these words, I am able to see how they parallel a lot of the feelings I'm having right now, as I near the jumping point of this adventure. And they both have a lot of truth that speak to those feelings, truth that brings me little pieces of peace (ha) as I float between being nervous and excited. I am very thankful for this peace. I need it so strongly. I know this is only a month, but a month is eternity when you can't feel God with you. (Or is it just me?) Good thing I know He is :]

I'm also thankful that this is not the first time I have felt these things. I've mentioned my first time at camp... It's a fantastic story of God at work, but not the one I have time to post yet here. Just know that I felt very similarly then :] God did fantastic work that summer, last summer, and I know that He will do no less this summer. It is my highest hope that He will use our team and the camp He has set up in France mightily in the lives of the people we will be working with.

Paul says in Acts13, referencing Habbakuk 1:5:

"For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if someone told you."

Pray for this. Pray that God would move and 'do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us'.

For me, Sky Ranch, for France, for Europe, for the United States, for Ghana, for Japan, for China

for the world.

²⁴"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. ²⁵And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. ²⁶From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ²⁷God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ²⁸'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

²⁹"Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man's design and skill. ³⁰In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. ³¹For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead."

-From Acts 17.

There is much more I want to write, but I haven't the time right now. Man, I edit these things so many times before I write them. I have this one too, but not as much as I like. Maybe later I will come back and explain things better. Maybe not. My suitcase is still just over 50 lbs.. so I'm packing things in the backpack tight. I'm really glad I have a bigger backpack now, haha.

Edit: Here is my address there if you would like it, and if you would like to send something, please try and make sure mail would come when I am actually there, hah.

Lauren Capps

Camp des Cimes

La Rivoire

38520 Bourg d'Oisans

France

Thanks!! Love.

And so now I leave you, with much love and blessings. May you truly seek out HIS purpose for your life in His plan. He's the playwright. Find your role, and play it. Dare to make it real. That is my prayer for you.

A Peak.

If I ever doubted the fact that I write enough for a book, this post blows that out of the water. It's probably the longest yet. But I do think every word necessary, and I pray you do too.

Enjoy the story :]

As some of you know, I have spent the last 24 days traveling. A lot. I'm not sure I even knew exactly the extent of it until now, when I'm home. My Mom, brother and I have been on five flights, multiple busses and trains, and now my brother and I can say that we have visited 12 new countries. Going into, and coming out of this trip, I have had many mixed feelings. But I learned a lot, and despite the pace, was able to get some rest and retreat. I will say more about this trip, but I am going to try and keep it limited to how it relates to the purpose of this blog for sake of length and focus.

On this trip, as we traveled, we saw and heard many different things about the people and countries we were in. We had many experiences, with both positive and negative. Everything from seeing a special practice parade of the Queen's guards for her birthday celebration in London, to seeing our tour guides purse stolen right off our bus in Rome. There are so many stories :] The first few days were rougher for me, I'm not always the most willing morning traveler, but once I got into the routine, I absorbed everything I could.

Just about the time we hit... Paris (?) I had enough traveling behind me to do some reflecting. No, It was Copenhagen. So after the first 14 days. I felt heavy, and exhausted. I was wondering how in the world I was ever going to be ready for France if I had another ten days like the first fourteen. So I sat on the couch in our hotel room after dinner, and journaled, prayed and read. It was a good time, and a few things were revealed there. One thing that I was shown was one reason I felt heavy- all I felt had seen for the past two weeks were people who were broken. Governments who had big problems, and people who had bigger ones. I cannot even tell you how many churches and cathedrals we went into, (there are literally so many I don't remember), that were beautiful. Really, like nothing else I have ever seen. I was left awed at architecture, and how they built these great buildings as a parallel for how they viewed God, and at their persistence over literally hundreds of years to build just one. It was, and is, considered an extreme honor to be buried in one. And each one is different. But when I walked in, few made me feel. (And I feel a lot). I ache because I fear for the minority who come seeking, but who are blinded by their expectations, and traditions. It's a pretty heavy thing. I'm not sure I can even put into words all of the how and why, but they felt empty. The very places that God was supposed to be the most, His house, felt empty. And that just scared me. Sure, it was just a feeling. God IS everywhere, and He is working everywhere- that is still the truth. But they felt empty. That isn't ok.

Of course, when I reached this point in my learning, I was exasperated. All of these countries have so many problems, the people I see have problems, and the very cathedrals feel empty. It was quite a weight. But then God turned the page for me, and started telling me of His love for these people. For these nations. How He is working in their lives, even though they may not know it, and even though they may never attribute it to Him. Even if they can't see it, and even if I can't see it. History and the ideas of the past and tradition are huge in Europe. But God is working there now too. I journaled:

Being a tourist is difficult for me sometimes. I see so many problems, that I have no time, authority, not to mention skill or wisdom to help fix in a single sightseeing trip, or ever. It hurts my heart to see so much broken, and frustrates and overwhelms me that I am unable to help. We as a world are so broken Lord. I am glad that you are more than enough for me, and for the world, as deep in trouble as we have gotten ourselves. We are never too far, Your love reaches farther than our disobedience. Thank you!

It's true. He is moving.

Another insight I was given into why I had been feeling so heavy was because I deeply missed camp and friends in Cave Springs, and all my close friends from A&M who are in many more countries than I will go to. While missing all of this, I was given windows into how things were going in those places, blogs, pictures, texts. So I missed them more, and felt a little jealous for not being able to be these places. Today, God whispered why. My heart has still ever-so-slightly been hanging on to these people and places. Yes, they are part of what has made me me, but they are not part of who I am. I know, that reads a little weird. English can only go so far to describe what I mean :] But if you think about it, it makes sense.

Whew. I feel like I should take a typing break. So if you feel necessary, please take a water break :]. I've covered two of four weighty ideas, just to give you an idea of where I'm going.

Aaaaaand we're back.

Quick recap.

I love Cave Springs, and I love my friends. God has spoken very loudly through both, and I have been impacted and influenced very heavily by my experiences with both. But they are not who I am. Realizing this is a big deal, and it is something that I must remember. We will come back to this idea.

To zoom out a little, I'm briefly going to put this post in context with some ideas from previous posts...

My struggle with my latin class, with my perception and value of myself, and so many other things, have been stepping stones. The insights and words of encouragement I have been given, and how I act on them are stepping stones. Steps I had to take in faith, steps that were in front of me, but I didn't know why, or how I was going to take them. I've made it this far, stumbling the whole way up through Him, by Him, and for Him.

I feel sentimental looking back, but I know that I MUST move forward. I must let go of the past, or I will once again risk defining myself by it. I must let go of the ideas, people, and misconceptions I have been trying to define myself by, and I must not forget the truth and love I have felt and learned, not forget the support I have that goes with me, not forget who I am, and JUMP.

At camp in Cave Springs working the zip line started out as the most scary part of my job. Then, it became my most cherished. For so many reasons. One of the reasons is, once a kid (and more adults than you would think) lets go for the first time and jumps, trusts me, the equipment, and God that nothing bad is going to happen to them, and they feel that rope catch them, their eyes instantly light up. You see it every time, EVERY time! And it never gets old. It is beautiful. Going to camp the very first time, not knowing anyone, and being in the physical health, and mental state that I was in is MUCH like this; I felt completely unprepared. I was absolutely terrified the first two weeks. But God caught me, and He taught SO MUCH including how to just enjoy the ride, and to be better with 'ziplines'. Last summer, it was more concrete, I was really comfortable with heights. But you are always attached to something up there. Jumping; that free fall... that's a completely different sensation. Fear and adrenaline and excitement are still all rolled up inside me with that sensation. And I here I stand, at this peak, and I am being asked to jump. It's almost time.

God has used all these seemingly random things I have included in this blog, and the dozens I have left out for sake of space, to bring me to a peak. One that is both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time just to stand on. One that I'm not meant to stand on long, I must jump off of. For now, I get to rest, listen, and absorb all thats around me. In one week, I will jump. Jump also implies that all of me will go; I go physically, mentally, and emotionally, with all my doubts, all my fears, and all my hopes and prayers.

And then I will feel it. I will feel Him catch. When I jump, I jump into His arms. I jump to Him.

I don't mean to make this experience of getting ready for, and going to France more than it is; it is just a chapter in the book of my life, just one peak of one mountain I have, and will climb. But here, right now, and on this blog, it is the one I am here to tell you about. I tell you all of these things, with the hope you will be encouraged in what you read. If there has been any insight in this chapter of my life that I have learned, or that by grace you have learned, I thank God for it. I know I am a mess, (we ALL are), but I serve a God who uses broken and messy people. And I couldn't be more grateful.

I think I'm going to have one more post before I leave. Once I get to France, we will have a few days training before we start camp. Once we start camp, we English counselors are said to get one day off a week. I am very hesitant to take my laptop, because I know it would be a huge distraction.. so I will need to rely on office computers for updates, and on days off. I'm not sure just how reliable updates will be, but if I can't blog while I'm in France, I will journal specific updates and post them after. I did want to let you all know a little more of what to expect :] Funding wise I am completely covered, Praise God!

Pray for Europe, and that God would shine His light brighter in the darkness there.

Pray for France.

Pray for the students, that their hearts would be open, and that God would open their eyes.

Pray for my team, as we get ready in this last week to meet up and be counselors.

Pray for us, as we fill the roles of counselors, examples, friends, teammates, hikers, workers, and whatever other role we are called upon to fill.

Pray for our leaders, they have a big job :] (God is bigger!)

Pray that peace would guide my heart and my mind as I continue to prepare, and pack.

Praise God for the work He has done so far in Europe and France. In Japan, in Montana, in Southeast Asia, Africa, Haiti... everywhere I read He is moving. Praise Him!

Praise Him for the work He has done in my life, and in your life.

If you can't see Him moving, pray that He open your eyes, because He is moving.

If you see Him moving, and you aren't moving with Him, go where He is moving.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."
-Romans 15:13

Preparing the Armor

It has been quite a while again! But not because I haven't been thinking, and writing- no. I just haven't been able to yet find the right combination of words. I never was good at puzzles. I have such trouble deciding what to write here. I don't want to say the 'wrong' thing. Bear with me in my delays and struggles, trust me they exhaust me more :] I have a feeling it will be a recurring theme.

I do finally have insight on what is helpful to share- so here goes!

First:

I have report of a miracle! Some of you may laugh at this, but I do believe that it is purely by the grace of God's great hand that this happened.

I passed my Latin class.

Now, I'm not sure if you have heard me speak of it before, but this class (one of four I am to take) has caused me inner turmoil for one reason or another since before I was even officially signed up for it. I assure you, that this turmoil never really left (my roommates are witness to this), and won't until I finish the fourth class- but I do know that I don't think I have ever worked so hard, and had such great reward mentally. Taking this class wasn't just a mental challenge though, it was a challenge to my faith in God's plan for my life. (It's funny how I tie everything together, call me crazy, but it's just how I think). I realize that a mere Latin class having such weight is slightly ridiculous, and I can guarantee you that I have thought myself silly on the matter. This is the truth that it all boils down to. I would not have passed that class of my own power. I cannot continue to pass the next three on my own power. I did pass, so that I can attest to this fact, and give God the credit. (And thank those roommates for their encouragement :] ).

I read this earlier today, and it hit me:

"He intentionally puts His people in situations where they come face to face with their need for Him. In the process He demonstrates his ability to provide everything that His people could ever have imagined. In the end, He brings glory to Himself."

1. That is exactly what is going on with my latin class.

2. God is awesome.

Ok. So I can't let you get away with just one story. Two more.

I think that is mainly product of waiting so long :].

Well, you get more clarity with time, and more content.

It all ties in, promise.

Last week, a close friend and I met with two Mormons. I texted a significant number of friends asking for prayer over that time, because as prepared as I knew I had tried to be, I knew I didn't have any idea what I was going to do. I can tell you that I intended to share along with my friend with the Mormon missionaries the truth that I have, and to do so in as much love as possible. I can also tell you that we were barely able to share a word with them, as they were busy trying to convert us. We walked away with many thoughts, and as we tried to process them, many conversations ensued. The main few things that I have learned are as follows:

1. We walked in to a situation that was very dangerous. I knew that before I went, which is why I prayed over it multiple times, and why I asked for advice from multiple people, and prayer from even more. When we walked out, I realized even more of how dangerous it was.

2. Not only was it dangerous, it was a spiritual battle. And every time that I think about it, or talk about it, it becomes a spiritual battle again. Which is why I am trying to be careful, especially here.

3. Being a spiritual battle, and knowing that it was dangerous, it hit me. We are in a WAR.

Not one in which you fight with foam swords, and not one in which you are left to clean the peanut butter off of your car. This is dangerous stuff. People's SOULS are at stake. And we are called to fight! Not fight the lost, fight for them. But we CANNOT accomplish this on our own. These are the Lord's battles. He will fight them,

"He said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's." 2 Chronicles 20:15.

But He calls us to fight for Him as well. (Judges 6:11-16).

4. It is going to cost you everything to fight with God, but you will lose everything if you don't. (Matthew 16:25, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.")

5. Reading the Bible, (and the Bible alone), is SO important to our performance in battle. In high school, I didn't set foot on a basketball court without trying to be properly hydrated, and never without the proper shoes. You can't fight a battle without training and being familiar with your sword. You must know your Bible, you must know The Truth. (The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing but The Truth). It is a huge part of being prepared. If you show up without your sword... you are in trouble.

As I continue to remain guarded, and trust in my Father, He helps me see things like this. Glimpses of battle. It scares me, but I know that I owe Him that respect. He is by far greater than any other force, and He holds me close. His love keeps me safe, though I am in the midst of a battle.

To change pace a little, I'll give you a bit of a cool down with some trip info. :]

I have begun to get my supplies gathered for the trip; the extra warm sleeping bag, the hiking boots, the extra camera memory card, the fashionable water bottle... all very necessary items of course. This part is exciting for me, because I get to start seeing tangible reminders of what is to come. Things are coming together.

Financially, right now I am within $300 or so of my goal, which is AWESOME. God has been so faithful to provide for this trip with a car wash and t-shirts, to wonderful friends and family who are partnering with me. I could not be more blessed in this area, I couldn't ask for more. I haven't had to worry a bit- He has taken care of me. (If only I trusted Him like this all the time!) If you could all please continue to pray for the rest of my team, as they prepare for this trip financially. (And spiritually, and physically.. you know).

Some words of wisdom were sent to the Sky Ranch Staff of this year by John Morgan, who is the Van Summer Camp Director. I just wanted to share some words that really jumped at me:

"God used the next two summers of my life (at Sky Ranch) to teach me how great He is…not how great I am. He taught me how great He can be in me. Starting in the interview by showing me how unqualified I am to do this. But He showed up in those summers in ways that allowed me to see that I don’t need to be great for Him to be awesome.

God is in control of the sun, the rain, life, death, the spin of the earth, and the summer you are about to be a part of. If you are feeling as if you may not be qualified to do this job this summer …then good. I don’t want you to do this job this summer. I want God to do a work in you and through you instead. And trust me, He is qualified to move in the hearts and lives of His people... Your weapons are of no use here. Your preparation for this battle looks less like collecting amo and knowledge, but more like preparing your heart...seeking the Lord and His strength, taking a look at where your relationship with God really is and seeing the areas in your life where you can push deeper into him. Proverbs 21: 31 it says “The horse is made ready for the day of battle,” So that starts now. Way before the battle we will ready our horses by positioning ourselves with God. A relationship is not something that is flipped on like a switch but rather a complicated thing that takes investment….time…effort…and it is the most important relationship you can invest in. It’s the most important thing you can do to set the table for this summer.

Are you nervous? Spend time with Jesus.
Are you overwhelmed? Spend time with Jesus.
Are you excited? Spend time with Jesus.

The last part of Proverbs 21:31 says:“ but the victory belongs to the LORD!” We do have responsibility in preparation in readying the horses and in getting our heart where it needs to be… but make no mistake - the victory belongs to the Lord. He is in control. He is going to work through you, in you, and because of you this summer. And the battle belongs to the Lord too."

These words have given me encouragement; to relax that God is going to do His job, and to work to ensure that I do mine. With this past semester, I have realized often how unqualified I am for much of what I am expected to accomplish. My first summer at Sky taught me that too, and it terrified me. I was scared of 'not being enough'. School continues to teach me that. But God continues to show me that when I am not enough in life, it's ok, because HE IS! What a relief! I am so glad my God is bigger than me, and my worries. Now if I can just be obedient to not worry, we'll be cooking :]

Prayer:

Pray for my team and I that we would let God work to prepare us for our trip, and the things that we have between now and then.

Pray that we would have greater faith in Him, that 'He would become greater, and I would become less." (John 3:30).

Praise Him that He is revealing Himself in more ways for me!

Pray for the hearts of the French kids that we will be building relationships with.

Pray that our team is able to come alongside other workers, and truly help support them.

Pray for those who are there who need rest, pray for energy and health for everyone.

And I want to thank you for supporting me however you may have to this point, and for how you will. If you sent me $5 or $, or even $1- thank you. If you said a prayer for me, thank you. If you said a prayer for my team, thank you- that is also a prayer for me. I could not have gotten where I am right now without the grace of God, and your support. Seriously. I am by no means done yet, this adventure has only just begun.

I will leave you with conclusion of what I said earlier... when I said all the stories tied in.. here's the missing piece:

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."

Ephesians 6:13

I pray that you all are encouraged, and challenged by these words, and I trust that they are worth your time. I do hope the best for you!

Logistics and Life.

So It had been quite a while since I have updated this. A little homework, and a lack of knowing exactly how to word things has postponed it, forgive me. But, it is finally here, and full of updated material about logistics and life. Get excited! I tried to break up the length a little so you can skip around, or come and go as you please. Thanks so much!

Trip Logistics
We have had tickets purchased, and are planning for the trip to be June 30- August 1. Along with that, we have gotten tentative weekly schedules for once we are in France, and our roles as an 'English Counselor Team' member. We will be helping to teach workshops in different activities for the students, like painting, or photography, or some other such thing. Now that is what I am being told, what that looks like, eh... Not sure. I mean, I guess that is because I am rather unsure of how everything will play out. I think that is part of what faith is about :]

Team Logistics
I know very little right now actually, but the closer June 30th is, the more I know. Originally, we were going to be a team of four girls, and four guys. One of the guys and one of the girls are both returning leaders of this trip. The other two girls are set, and one guy who has been before is joining, along with two more who will be meeting us there (I think). We have exchanged e-mails between a few of us mainly with trip questions and such, so I don't know them very well yet but I am very excited about learning more about them and how we will all work together and reach out to these kids. I met with one of the girls, Elizabeth, and had coffee earlier this week and we got to talk about ourselves and each other, and try to connect a little before our trip. I am almost positive though, that as much as we prepare, there is no way we will be able to fully know what we are getting ourselves into before we actually get there, if even then! Once again, teaching me to trust.


Financial logistics:
I have an update on fundraising. I have sent out all of my support letters, which I'm approximating to be around sixty total. I do have some extra letters if I missed anyone who would like one, please just let me know. There is some basic information there, along with prayer requests and a card to be mailed with your donation, and a nice little note. Also I am selling t-shirts! A few of us students in the Aggie BSM got together and designed one that we can all sell and help contribute to our own funds. I have a picture of the design: Please let me know if you would like one this week, the picture is below. If you have already ordered one, I have it, and will mail it soon. (Which means probably after finals). I do ask that you send me your money asap :]

As of right now, I have had about $250 sent in for me. From t-shirts and a car wash I helped to work, along with some money that I have saved, and other bits that people have blessed me with by just handing to me, I have just over that much waiting to be sent in now. I'm nervous, and my parents are a little too, but I am excited to see how God will prove Himself faithful. I have seen Him do it before, so many tiems for me, in ways smaller than this, so I know that He is able, and he is loving. He will do what He says He is going to do.


Whew, so that finishes the 'logistics' section...
Aaaand now. To life.

I'm a big fan of getting to know people by sharing stories, comparing stories, finding how stories have things in common you never knew they did, and finding out how many different ways there is to see one story. Connections, meanings. So, naturally, and as I said before, this blog is very much a product of that- I'll be selecting relevant stories to help tell you about my experience involving France, whether that be before, during, or after. Which normally would mean that I could end the blog here.


But I'm not going to do that.

(Yep, it's going to be a long one... better go grab some coffee if you haven't already).
I'm going to share a little more, and hope that maybe, just maybe, some of you will too. We shall see.

This semester (hah, this entire past year!) has been full of challenges for me. It's also been full of blessing for me. I'm still trying to fit a lot of these thoughts into words, so bear with me if they sound a little disorganized. They still are in my head, so no doubt that will come through in print.

Earlier, I said that I have seen God prove faithful in many ways. Well one way that I have seen that God is faithful is with my schooling; this semester has been a stressful one. I must admit though, they are all stressful. They all have their challenges for everyone, and their blessings. What makes this one different? There is quite a bit my friend, quite a bit. A specific example though would include the classes that I am in. For me, it has been a trust building experience in taking two of the classes I have this semester, specifically my Latin and Whitewater canoeing classes. Some of you may be familiar with this story, and how yet again I had to trust that God wasn't going to let me fall. I had to trust that even when I am not motivated (which is a new sensation for me), He is enough. He is why I do what I do. He is why I am still in school; I would have scared and overwhelmed myself out of it by now without Him. I am not enough to pour into my classes alone, and get all A's. And that's ok. That was rather hard to swallow. I had to learn to rely on God more than I ever have for my classes, and for my mental stability :p I was afraid that He might choose to let me fail, but he shown me once again that He is bigger than my fears and failures, and bigger than me. He can handle it. And He has! Praise Him He has. Like I said though, that is a very general college lesson, I think I learn that more and more each semester, along with my classmates.

Another thing that God has been faithful in is something a bit deeper. Deeper than even my fears about schooling, He has stayed by me and reminded me of how much I am loved. I am sure that many of you do not know that I tend to be 'my own worst critic', and that sometimes it gets the better of me. (Or maybe it's incredibly obvious). But God has shown me, that even when I am frustrated with myself, even when I think I am being crazy, it's ok. It's ok, because this isn't about me. This is about Him. And He is bigger than me, He is SO patient, and loves me, even when I don't. I have been looking through the Psalms, and 1 John, and all I read about are things that touch on this. I want to share one set of verses in particular that really hit me between the eyes every time:

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything." (1 John 3:18-20).

Every time. He tells me that when that half of me that says 'I do not understand what I do... because what I want to do I do not do, and what I hate, I do' (from Romans 7:15ish... I'm glad Paul relates :] ) starts getting crazy and frustrates me, and I bring out my baseball bat and start a -whacking on myself, He stops me. Because He loves. Me. He tells me, yes, you fell... but don't beat yourself while you are down. Get back up, shake it off, and keep walking. Because He loves. Me. And no matter how many times we go through this, His answer doesn't change. I have learned this before, I know it in my heart, and I treasure it, but once I pick up that baseball bat, it's a dangerous cycle that takes some time to stop and heal. So yes, I have learned this, and I know that often I have an unhealthy way of handling it. But God is faithful, He will not leave me in my own mistakes, He will not give up on me. He forgives. Me. He loves. Me.

Another thing that I have been reminded a lot lately of how small life is; really, more of how little of an impact in the grand scheme of things that a single life, like mine has. (I think of James 4:14, where he says, "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.") It made me wonder then, does anything I do truly matter? YES! My instant reaction, yes, yes, emphatically yes. Because even the smallest thing you do can speak to a part of someone else. And I know that. I have witnessed it in so many different contexts. Whether this means spending that extra half hour with friends who need a laugh, talking through something with a friend, panting your face for a study break with your room mates, smiling at someone who walks past you, getting a phone call from Dad, saying thank you to someone, doing a random act of kindness, calling someone by a pet name, or even just noticing someone who isn't used to being noticed... the little things matter so much. Though our lives leave just a faint and fleeting breath upon a windowpane, the smallest of our actions can speak so loudly. I have tried to be more intentional about letting people know that I care about them after being reminded of this... And I say this to encourage you to try this. Watch what happens when you do, it may surprise you. I know it has surprised me, and blessed me.

If you have any questions about any of this, or want to complain at it being forever long, please let me know :]
I believe this is where I will leave you for now; I hope that you all have a blessed week! Good luck to those with finals, and I encourage you all once again- Remind yourself of the times God has been faithful to you, has shown His love to you, and let His love pour through your life into others.

Introductions.

I just want to start this little blog with a introductory post. It seems a bit formal for internet communication, I know, but I felt the need. I'm writing this blog to describe the great adventure that God has led me toward for this upcoming summer. He has lead me to travel to Bourg d'Osians, France with Sky Ranch Missions- and I couldn't be more excited! It is an awesome story just in how He began this adventure, that I may tell sometime in the future here.

I feel like there is an overwhelming number of "missions blogs" in my closest circle, (I am also aware that this isn't the case everywhere :] ), and so at first, I felt a little cliche in making one myself. But then I considered, all of those in my closest circle are all going on adventures this summer, and are going to tell of how He worked in their lives along the way too! I am hopeful to see the plans God has for us as they come to be. I am hopeful of the lessons He will teach us, the words He will say through us, the actions that He leads us to perform, and our telling of them here. He goes before us, and will fight and win and be glorified however He chooses. How blessed are we that He chooses to use us! Praise Him that He is moving in new ways!

So I give you this blog as my effort to include those not in the closest circle- an effort to update you on what God has done in my life, and in the lives of those around me as I prepare to go, and as I serve. I have a story to tell. And because of Him, it is worth telling. I tell the story because He will be glorified in it! I am telling this part of it for you, and I invite you to read as much, or as little as you like.